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Writer's pictureemadgbishay

Dealing with Difficult People at Work

Updated: Oct 9

"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." — Albert Einstein


Navigating the complexities of the modern workplace often involves interacting with diverse personalities. These include difficult people who can challenge our patience, test our communication skills, and impact our productivity. Learning how to handle these situations is critical for your career.


In this comprehensive guide, we'll explore:


  • Spotting Difficult People

  • Examples of 10 Difficult People

  • 20 Expert Tactics for Dealing with Difficult People

  • Negotiating and Communicating with Difficult People

  • Working with Difficult People:


By the end of this article, you will have valuable tools to handle difficult people. You will also learn to improve your work environment and boost your career.


Spotting Difficult People at Work


Difficult people come in various forms, and recognizing their behaviors is the first step toward developing appropriate strategies.


Common Traits of Difficult People:

  • Negative Attitude: Constantly pessimistic and dismissive.

  • Aggressiveness: Exhibits hostility or bullying.

  • Resistance to Change: Unwilling to adapt or accept new ideas.

  • Lack of Accountability: Avoids responsibility and blames others.

  • Poor Communication: Withholds information or is unresponsive.


Understanding these traits helps us spot difficult people among peers, colleagues, direct reports, and superiors.


Examples of Difficult People


Let's explore the various types of difficult people you encounter in the workplace. We aim to help you recognize certain behaviors and give you strategies to handle them effectively.


1. The Micromanager

Characteristics:

  • Overbearing Control: Insists on overseeing every task.

  • Lack of Trust: Doubting the capabilities of team members.

  • High Anxiety: Feels that without their input, projects will fail.


Scenario: 

Your boss is involved in every aspect of your work. They request frequent updates, scrutinize minor details, and override your decisions without explanation. This leaves you feeling mistrusted and stifles your creativity.


Impact on the workplace: 

  • Decreased Autonomy: Employees feel they need to gain ownership of their work.

  • Reduced Morale: Constant oversight can demotivate the team.

  • Stifled Innovation: Fear of making mistakes hinders creativity.


Strategy to manage this personality:

  • Proactive communication: Provide regular updates before they ask.

  • Establish trust and set clear expectations.


2. The Passive-Aggressive Individual

Characteristics:

  • Indirect Resistance: Appears cooperative but resists tasks subtly.

  • Avoids Confrontation: being unsatisfied indirectly.

  • Sarcasm: Uses veiled comments to express frustration.


Scenario: 

A team member agrees to take on a task but misses deadlines without explanation. When questioned, they respond with sarcasm or indirect comments like, "I guess I can't do anything right."


Impact on the Workplace:

  • Missed Deadlines: Projects may fall behind schedule.

  • Confusion: Team members may be unsure of their true intentions.

  • Increased Tension: This can lead to frustration among colleagues.


Strategy to deal with this type:

  • Address Behavior Directly: Have a private conversation to discuss concerns.

  • Clarify expectations and provide support if they need resources or help.


3. The Credit Stealer

Characteristics:

  • Self-Promotion: Seeks recognition at others' expense.

  • Lack of Integrity: Does not give credit where it is due.

  • Competitive Nature: May feel threatened by others' success.


Scenario: 

After collaborating on a successful project, a colleague presents the results to senior management without acknowledging your contributions. They might say, "I implemented a new strategy that increased our sales by 20%," omitting your involvement.


Impact: 

  • Team members may feel undervalued.

  • Reduced Collaboration: Others might be reluctant to work with them.

  • Resentment: Creates a hostile work environment.


Strategy:

  • Document Contributions: Keep records of your work and emails.

  • Communicate everyone's achievements and speak to them privately about the importance of acknowledging team efforts.


4. The Aggressive Communicator

Characteristics:

  • Dominating Behavior: Seeks to control discussions.

  • Disrespectful: Interrupts and belittles others.

  • Impatient: Wants immediate compliance.


Scenario:

During meetings, this person raises their voice, interrupts others, and dismisses alternative viewpoints. They might say, "That's a ridiculous idea," or "We’re doing it my way."


Impact on the Workplace:

  • Others may avoid sharing ideas.

  • Team members may feel bullied.

  • Collaboration among the team suffers.


Strategy:

  • Stay Calm: Do not respond with aggression.

  • Set ground rules, assert yourself, use confident body language and speak up.

 

5. The Resistant to Change

Characteristics:

  • Inflexible: Unwilling to try new methods.

  • Fearful: Concerned about the unknown or failure.

  • Nostalgic: Prefers familiar routines.


Scenario:

When new processes or technologies are introduced, this individual resists adopting them. They might say, "We've always done it this way," or "If it isn't broken, why fix it?"


Impact on the Workplace:

  • Hinders Innovation: Progress is slowed.

  • Frustrates Others: Team members eager to advance may feel held back.

  • Competitive Disadvantage: The organization may fall behind industry trends.


Strategy:

  • Communicate Benefits: Explain how changes will improve their work.

  • Offer training to ease the transition and involve them in the change process.


6. The Slacker

Characteristics:

  • Lack of Motivation: Shows little interest in work.

  • Poor Time Management: Struggles to prioritize tasks.

  • Reliance on Others: Depends on teammates to complete work.


Scenario:

A colleague frequently needs to catch up on deadlines and deliver subpar work, causing others to pick up the slack. They often have excuses like, "I've been swamped with other tasks."


Impact on the Workplace:

  • Increased Workload for Others: Team members compensate for their deficiencies.

  • Decreased Morale: Resentment may build.

  • Project Delays: Deadlines are missed.


Strategy:

  • Set Clear Expectations: Define roles and responsibilities explicitly.

  • Check-in regularly on task completion and find if there are underlying issues affecting performance.


7. The Manipulator

Characteristics:

  • Deceptive: Hides true intentions.

  • Self-Serving: Prioritizes personal agenda.

  • Persuasive: Skilled at influencing others subtly.


Scenario:

This person uses flattery, guilt, or deception to influence others for personal gain. For example, they might say, "You're the only one who can help me with this," to exploit your willingness.


Impact on the Workplace:

  • Lack of Trust: Colleagues may feel used.

  • Unethical Behavior: Can lead to policy violations.

  • Conflict: Manipulative actions may pit team members against each other.


Strategy:

  • Stay Alert: Be cautious of inconsistent behavior.

  • Verify information and keep professional boundaries:


8. The Narcissist

Characteristics:

  • Self-centered: Focused on personal success.

  • Arrogant: Believes they are superior.

  • Insensitive: Unaware of others' feelings.


Scenario:

A team member constantly seeks admiration, boasts about achievements, and lacks empathy. They might say, "This project succeeded because of me."


Impact on the Workplace:

  • Team Disconnection: Others may feel unfriendly.

  • Reduced Collaboration: Cooperation diminishes.

  • Low Morale: Lack of recognition for others' contributions.


Strategy:

  • Offer genuine praise when right.

  • Promote team achievements and do not let their behavior overshadow the team.


9. The Saboteur

Characteristics:

  • Secretive: Keeps others out of the loop.

  • Competitive: Sees colleagues as threats.

  • Disruptive: Causing problems.


Scenario:

A colleague deliberately withholds information or provides misleading data to undermine projects. They might "forget" to invite you to important meetings.


Impact on the Workplace:

  • Trust Issues: Team members become suspicious.

  • Project Failures: Critical tasks may be compromised.

  • Tension: Increases conflict within the team.


Strategy:

  • Increase Transparency: Share information openly.

  • Document everything and address behavior.

 

10. The Unapproachable Leader

Characteristics:

  • Distant: Keeps interactions minimal.

  • Unresponsive: Delays in addressing issues.

  • Lacks Empathy: Shows little understanding of team challenges.


Scenario:

A manager is seldom available, avoids one-on-one meetings, and seems disinterested in team concerns. When approached, they may respond curtly or appear distracted.


Impact on the Workplace:

  • Low engagement: Team members may feel unsupported.

  • Increased turnover: Employees might seek better leadership elsewhere.

  • Missed Opportunities: Valuable feedback and ideas are lost.


Strategy:

  • Schedule Regular Meetings: Create opportunities for dialogue.

  • Prepare agendas before the meetings and recognize their time and efforts to encourage openness.






The Importance of Managing Difficult People

Failing to address difficult people can lead to:


  • Increased Stress: Affecting mental health and job satisfaction.

  • Reduced Productivity: Disrupting workflows and team dynamics.

  • High Turnover Rates: This leads to loss of talent and increased hiring costs.


McKinsey & Company emphasizes that effective leadership involves managing difficult people to maintain a healthy organizational culture. (McKinsey Article)


Negotiating with Difficult People


Negotiation skills are crucial when dealing with resistant individuals.


Strategies:

  • Prepare Thoroughly: Know your objectives and limits.

  • Find Win-Win Solutions: Aim for mutually beneficial outcomes.

  • Stay Professional: Keep emotions in check.


William Ury's book, "Getting to Yes with Yourself," offers insights into internal negotiation barriers.

 

Managing Difficult People in the Workplace


As a leader, managing difficult people involves:


  • Setting Expectations: Clear job descriptions and performance metrics.

  • Providing Feedback: Regular, constructive reviews.

  • Offering Support: Training and resources for improvement.


McKinsey & Company. (2018). Leading with Inner Agility. Link


How to Get Along with Difficult People


Building a workable relationship may be necessary.


Approaches:

  • Find Common Interests: Bond over shared hobbies or goals.

  • Show Appreciation: Recognize their contributions.

  • Stay Positive: Your attitude can influence theirs.


Tip: Sometimes, small gestures can break down barriers.

 

Working with Difficult People: Tips for Success


Enhance Team Dynamics

  • Promote Inclusivity: Ensure everyone's voice is heard.

  • Set Team Norms: Establish guidelines for collaboration.

  • Encourage Feedback: Create a safe space for open discussions.


Leverage Diversity

Recognize that diverse perspectives, even difficult ones, can lead to innovation.

TED Talk by Margaret Heffernan, "Dare to Disagree," explores the value of constructive conflict. (TED Talk)

 

Conclusion


Dealing with difficult people is a challenge but also an opportunity to develop valuable skills. Here is a simplified version: 

Remember: Use these 20 expert tactics to improve relationships and communication and create a healthier work environment.


  • Be Patient with Difficult People: Change takes time.

  • Invest in Your Growth: Continually refine your strategies.

  • Seek Support: Don't hesitate to contact mentors or professionals.


(attachment: 20 Expert Tactics for Dealing with Difficult People at Work)



Your ability to handle difficult people effectively can set you apart as a leader and collaborator.

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